Top 5 Questions

Q. Is there any pain?

A. No, none, never – next question (truly, with the new super duper, long-acting system which allows for fewer, less frequent adjustments to braces – instead of a bottle of pain pills, just two will do for a day or two.)

Q. What’s the best age to start?

A. At birth – we also straighten gums! If not, then age 7-8 for first checkup – which is free. The early bird catches the worm – yuck! Why age 7-8? Just to make sure your child is not dentally retarded! Why free? Would you prefer to pay?!

Q. Is there an age limit?

A. If you will never see age 7-8 again don’t despair – there is no age limit for braces. Plus, NIS now covers funeral expenses, so who can say what’s next?

Q. Are braces safe?

A. Well, not quite, but at least ‘safer’! We have cross-infection control under control!

Q. Will I miss lots of school or work?

A. If you’re lucky! Just get here by 6:30 a.m. 

Q. Are braces affordable?

A. What is nowadays? But at least we ease the pain by exorbitant monthly installments, and no surprises.

Q. How much is this going to cost?

A. How much have you got?

Q. When will the braces be coming off?

A. When the cows come home

Q. When is that?

A. Don’t ask me – I’m not a farmer!

Q. Will my braces be off by Christmas?

A. Yes, but I’m not sure which one.

Q. Can I eat ice with braces on?

A. Yes, so long as it has melted.

Q. Can I eat sugar cane with braces on?

A. No, it is poisonous.

Q. Can I go into the sea with braces on?

A. No, they will rust, and besides – it’s advisable to wear a swimsuit as well.

Q. I don’t feel well today, what should I do?

A. I know a good vet.

Q. How do teeth move?

A. Slowly.

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